I have started stims…2 75iu of Gonal F in the a.m. and p.m. – started tonight.

I am so nervous about this…I wish there was a way to know in advance what the outcome is going to be. And I don’t even mean about getting PG. I just wish there was a way to know if I was going to produce enough eggs to get a good one without hyperstimming.

But, it’s a leap of faith, right? and I’m ataking it.

So – I took a deep breath – especially after going to watch my friends daughter cheer at her first Friday Night High School Football Game and after hanging out with my friend, her 14 year old daughter, my 9 year old Godson and her 16 month old son…I realized that I do have to take this leap. If it works, I will be at a game sometime in the future with my own child. And it will all be worth it for that – and I came home and gave myself that injection.

So we are officially off and running.

I will be doing the 150iu of Gonal F morning and night until Tuesday, when I go in for blood and sono and we see where we are at.

We are onto a fresh IVF cycle!

Starting birth control pills tomorrow (I love how I take birth control to help me get pregnant) and going back on 10/17 for blood and sono and then it’s on to injectables. I can’t wait to receive my GIANT box of meds! Woohoo.

Dr. K was very sweet today and said he was willing to do another cycle as long as we followed the exact same protocol as last September with more monitoring. So, we are good to go. This will be my last fresh cycle, so if it don’t work I don’t have children. There is such a finality to all of this and yet I am comfortable with it. It gives me a sense of direction.

My mother won’t be happy, she wants me to adopt but of course none of us has the money to adopt. IF I did, I’d have done pre-genetic testing or donor egg.

So, wish me luck cuz here we go.

Off to the races...