…and I already have 30 follicles at or around 11mm.

Did I mention that I’m a freak?! Of course, of those follies I’ll be lucky if one is decent. I did the 150iu of Gonal F up until this morning…now I’m doing 1 vial of Cetritide and 8 units of Micro-dose Ovidrel. All with daily monitoring. I have to give the Dr. credit, they are definitely monitoring me closely.

Oh and Estradial is 1270, FSH is 11.8 and Progesterone was 1.8…..

I just want one good egg. One egg that will genetically be able to create a healthy child. One egg that I can count on. Out of all these stupid eggs, I just want one. I don’t even care how long it takes me to get to that egg….I just want it to be there.

Everyone thinks it’s sooooooooo wonderful that I create all these eggs. Everyone thinks that I’ll definitely get PG with all these eggs. What “Everyone” doesn’t understand is that after going through 60 – yes 60!!! – embryo’s, I had one good pregnancy. One healthy baby, who I lost because of my cervix. Now, I have to hope that of these that I get now…..there is one more baby. What are the real odds of that? Probably not that great. But, I keep hoping. And I keep praying. Cuz if that baby isn’t in this bunch of eggs…then it’s no baby for us.

And that’s my rant for the day.

We are onto a fresh IVF cycle!

Starting birth control pills tomorrow (I love how I take birth control to help me get pregnant) and going back on 10/17 for blood and sono and then it’s on to injectables. I can’t wait to receive my GIANT box of meds! Woohoo.

Dr. K was very sweet today and said he was willing to do another cycle as long as we followed the exact same protocol as last September with more monitoring. So, we are good to go. This will be my last fresh cycle, so if it don’t work I don’t have children. There is such a finality to all of this and yet I am comfortable with it. It gives me a sense of direction.

My mother won’t be happy, she wants me to adopt but of course none of us has the money to adopt. IF I did, I’d have done pre-genetic testing or donor egg.

So, wish me luck cuz here we go.

Off to the races...