It's unusual…

..what started out as an IVF journey and ended up being about life

So sorry…. October 29, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 7:57 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Haven’t been around for a few days.

All kinds of exciting stuff happening. 😮

We had 47 fertilize!!!!!! I’m so happy about that! This was our last shot so whatever fertilized is whatever we will get. Don’t get too excited reading about those 47 – I’ve had 60 embies transferred to date – 1 pregnancy, 2 chemicals…so it’s not a set in stone thing that I’ll get PG off one of these embies, but it certainly does improve my chances.

Now, onto me…

Went to work on Tuesday, felt kinda crappy and bloated but that’s to be expected. By the end of the day, I was feeling like shite. Went to my mom’s and visited her for a while, mostly as a break and then went home and crashed.  Got up this morning and found I had gained over 4 pounds in one day. Now, I’m starting to get nervous. Go to the Dr. to get a full blood panel done and proceed to wait. Get a call from the RE @ noon and they tell me that if Dr. K decides to do a 3dt it will be at 10 a.m. tomorrow. But, she also tells me they haven’t gotten my bloods back yet so she’s not sure what he’s going to decide. Then I get a call at three – my blood came back okay. I am hyperstimmed, but it’s not going to be hospital worthy. Thank God!!! I did that two years ago and let me tell you, it’s not fun spending three days in the hospital and having gallons of fluid drained from your abdomen.  My estrogen is down to 2100 from 6000 and my liver enzymes are good. So, it looks like I’m going to be very uncomfortably for the next few days, but that about it.

AND – no transfer. He wants to wait a month or two, let my body get back to some semblance of normal and then we’ll do frozens.

It’s all good by me…I was getting way more worried about the OHSS than anything.


I’m an official record-breaker! October 27, 2008

Filed under: Infertility,IVF — gertyrae @ 8:31 pm

65 eggs retrieved…yup 65!!!! Where’s a fainting icon when you need it?

The record at my RE’s office up til now was 60 – from a 20 year old….

Of course, her eggs were probably all good…not so sure about mine.

I feel good, not much pain and no real cramping. Dr. K gave me some meds to help prevent OHSS – Doxocystine. So hopefully it won’t happen.

We also may be postponing fresh transfer and doing a frozen. Since I’ve never gotten PG off a fresh, he thinks it might be better to just do FET’s. Especially since my body is under so much stress from the retrieval.

So, we are waiting on the fertilization report and then talk about transfer.


It’s Sunday October 26, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 5:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

and I learned an interesting tidbit this morning.

I had to go in for blood after taking the hCG last night and was curious as to why. So, I asked one of the nurses and she responded with this.

“We have found at retrievals that some people aren’t about to ovulate or something is wrong with the trigger. And we figured out that they are just injecting themselves with the dilutent and no hCG. So, now everyone has to come in for a blood test to make sure they took the hCG correctly.”

Are ya kidding me??!!!!!! This is one of the best I’ve heard. How do  you not do the trigger correctly?! You have to have been doing injections for at least a week – you can’t figure this out?!

And now I have to suffer for other’s mistakes…

Anyway, after that tidbit of info, I went off to Church to say a prayer for myself and some others. Came home and took the beasties to the park so they could run in the woods for a while. We had a nice long walk and came home so we could all fall asleep (and Dan can watch football). I’m awake right now, but not sure how long it’s going to last since I feel like napping again.

Retrieval time is 10:45 a.m.


Trigger tonight… October 25, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 5:48 pm
Tags: , ,

Retrieval on Monday!

At least phase 1 will be over. I have to go in tomorrow for blood after triggering at 12:15 a.m. tonight. I’m not sure what the post-trigger blood is about but whatever.

My Estrogen yesterday was at 3800 so I can only imagine where it was today. I’ll find out for sure tomorrow.

I feel extremely tired the last two day -and bloated of course.  I’m kind of glad we are moving on the the next step. My stomach was getting pretty yucky.

I came home from work this afternoon and slept for a couple hours so I feel a bit better.


Day 8…. October 24, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 11:44 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

…and there’s lots of follies there. We have 40 some-odd counted at or over 11mm with the largest being 15mm. I’ve been taking Cetritide and Microdose Ovidrel for the last few days to sort of keep things growing at the same rate.

Had a nice little chat with the PA who did my sono this morning. They have been asking me how I feel EVERY day for the last three or four day and my reply is ALWAYS “I feel fine.”. So today, the lovely O asks me the question as she’s measuring little circles on a screen and I give her my usual reply. She comes back with (and I’ve paraphrased here)- “I wish I could record your responses so the chronic complainers could understand the difference.” She made me feel really good about the fact that I don’t piss and moan over every cramp and pull. Although, I did forget about the lovely blackandblues that appear on the belly after doing injections for a week.

And as far as how I feel, I really do feel fine. I’ve been walking the hound every day and we took in our friends lab for the weekend (I will get pics of these two in action up on the board), so I’m sure I’ll be doing more walking in the next few days. I have a slight “heavy” feeling in my pelvic area, but that’s about it. I am gaining a little weight, but I’m not sure if it’s fluids or my eating habits.

Have to go back tomorrow a.m. for more blood and sono…my arms are starting to look really interesting after blood six days in a row. I’m thinking two or three more days of stims and then it’s retrieval time.

On another note…got some apples the other day from Jericho Cider Mills (live happily appily!) and if the weather tomorrow afternoon is as predicted – I think I’ll be making some apple crisp! and I have some leftover marshmallows so it might be junk food night with Rice Crispy treats to go with the Apple Crisp.


Day 5 of stims… October 22, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 7:40 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

…and I already have 30 follicles at or around 11mm.

Did I mention that I’m a freak?! Of course, of those follies I’ll be lucky if one is decent. I did the 150iu of Gonal F up until this morning…now I’m doing 1 vial of Cetritide and 8 units of Micro-dose Ovidrel. All with daily monitoring. I have to give the Dr. credit, they are definitely monitoring me closely.


Oh and Estradial is 1270, FSH is 11.8 and Progesterone was 1.8…..

I just want one good egg. One egg that will genetically be able to create a healthy child. One egg that I can count on. Out of all these stupid eggs, I just want one. I don’t even care how long it takes me to get to that egg….I just want it to be there.

Everyone thinks it’s sooooooooo wonderful that I create all these eggs. Everyone thinks that I’ll definitely get PG with all these eggs. What “Everyone” doesn’t understand is that after going through 60 – yes 60!!! – embryo’s, I had one good pregnancy. One healthy baby, who I lost because of my cervix. Now, I have to hope that of these that I get now…..there is one more baby. What are the real odds of that? Probably not that great. But, I keep hoping. And I keep praying. Cuz if that baby isn’t in this bunch of eggs…then it’s no baby for us.

And that’s my rant for the day.


Ay Caramba!!

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 6:32 am
Tags: , , , ,

Well, after four days (actually 3.5) of stims, I went in yesterday to check progress.

I already have follies. 4 between 8 and 10mm on the right and 6 between 8 and 10mm on the left. With many smaller….I go back this morning to check again. I’m sure they are already worried….

As my Physicians Assistant said -“There will be plenty of eggs.” I just wish they could guarantee a good one. I hate going through this process and not knowing if there is going to be one decent egg that can give us our miracle baby.

My poor hubby is all emotional right now. I know how badly he wants this to work, but he doesn’t really say anything cuz he doesn’t want to make it harder for me. Meanwhile, he has to deal with guys he works with coming in and showing pics of their new babies. And now, one of his friends is taking my husbands idea of tattooing the baby’s footprints on his chest and putting his own son’s (of course, his son is okay) footprints on his arm. So, of course, my hubby is all upset about it. I don’t even know what to say to him sometimes. I’ve gotten past that stuff – everyone I know practically has had a baby in the last year – so it’s not as hard for me as it is him. Besides, I’m just a less emotional person in general.

Anyway….I’m off to shower and get ready for Dr. K – or one of his lovely assistants – to see what we have going on.




Someone explain how a 43 year old person can produce AAAALLLLLLL these eggs and not have one child to show for it?  Chew on that and get back to me. 🙂


Well, that didn’t take long!! October 19, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 1:54 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

The hormones are kicking in! :0

We went to the American Museum of Natural History yesterday and I started to cry three times.

Cry 1 – looking at the anteater in the North American Mammal Display

Cry 2 – walking through the dinosaurs, started thinking about the fact they are extinct

Cry 3 – in the midst of the Techno Sonic Vision “movie”.

I kid you not folks….these are the actual incidents that made me tear up. You can’t make this crap up.

I seemed to have recovered temporarily, but who knows when they will strike again.

On the other side of the coin, if you get a chance to see either the Horse exhibit at the Museum or the Sonic Vision movie at the Space Center – do it.  Both were great!

There is an artist that creates bronze and driftwood sculpture of horses, her name is Deborah Butterfield. It’s worth it just to see her sculpture of her own horse at the end. I did not cry over it, but was awed. Then again, that could be the drugs also.

Judge for yourself….It’s much more impressive in person


It’s Official… October 18, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 2:31 am
Tags: , , ,

I have started stims…2 75iu of Gonal F in the a.m. and p.m. – started tonight.

I am so nervous about this…I wish there was a way to know in advance what the outcome is going to be. And I don’t even mean about getting PG. I just wish there was a way to know if I was going to produce enough eggs to get a good one without hyperstimming.

But, it’s a leap of faith, right? and I’m ataking it.

So – I took a deep breath – especially after going to watch my friends daughter cheer at her first Friday Night High School Football Game and after hanging out with my friend, her 14 year old daughter, my 9 year old Godson and her 16 month old son…I realized that I do have to take this leap. If it works, I will be at a game sometime in the future with my own child. And it will all be worth it for that – and I came home and gave myself that injection.

So we are officially off and running.

I will be doing the 150iu of Gonal F morning and night until Tuesday, when I go in for blood and sono and we see where we are at.


Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action October 16, 2008

Filed under: Life — gertyrae @ 4:39 am
Tags: , ,

copied from emilythehopeless on October 15, 2008

copied from antigone lost’s blog

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let’s help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps:

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others
-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others
-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act
-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: “Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act.”

GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages – most of which have nothing to do with the bill.