It's unusual…

..what started out as an IVF journey and ended up being about life

Day 5 of stims… October 22, 2008

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 7:40 pm
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…and I already have 30 follicles at or around 11mm.

Did I mention that I’m a freak?! Of course, of those follies I’ll be lucky if one is decent. I did the 150iu of Gonal F up until this morning…now I’m doing 1 vial of Cetritide and 8 units of Micro-dose Ovidrel. All with daily monitoring. I have to give the Dr. credit, they are definitely monitoring me closely.

 

Oh and Estradial is 1270, FSH is 11.8 and Progesterone was 1.8…..

I just want one good egg. One egg that will genetically be able to create a healthy child. One egg that I can count on. Out of all these stupid eggs, I just want one. I don’t even care how long it takes me to get to that egg….I just want it to be there.

Everyone thinks it’s sooooooooo wonderful that I create all these eggs. Everyone thinks that I’ll definitely get PG with all these eggs. What “Everyone” doesn’t understand is that after going through 60 – yes 60!!! – embryo’s, I had one good pregnancy. One healthy baby, who I lost because of my cervix. Now, I have to hope that of these that I get now…..there is one more baby. What are the real odds of that? Probably not that great. But, I keep hoping. And I keep praying. Cuz if that baby isn’t in this bunch of eggs…then it’s no baby for us.

And that’s my rant for the day.

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Ay Caramba!!

Filed under: IVF — gertyrae @ 6:32 am
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Well, after four days (actually 3.5) of stims, I went in yesterday to check progress.

I already have follies. 4 between 8 and 10mm on the right and 6 between 8 and 10mm on the left. With many smaller….I go back this morning to check again. I’m sure they are already worried….

As my Physicians Assistant said -“There will be plenty of eggs.” I just wish they could guarantee a good one. I hate going through this process and not knowing if there is going to be one decent egg that can give us our miracle baby.

My poor hubby is all emotional right now. I know how badly he wants this to work, but he doesn’t really say anything cuz he doesn’t want to make it harder for me. Meanwhile, he has to deal with guys he works with coming in and showing pics of their new babies. And now, one of his friends is taking my husbands idea of tattooing the baby’s footprints on his chest and putting his own son’s (of course, his son is okay) footprints on his arm. So, of course, my hubby is all upset about it. I don’t even know what to say to him sometimes. I’ve gotten past that stuff – everyone I know practically has had a baby in the last year – so it’s not as hard for me as it is him. Besides, I’m just a less emotional person in general.

Anyway….I’m off to shower and get ready for Dr. K – or one of his lovely assistants – to see what we have going on.

 

 

 

Someone explain how a 43 year old person can produce AAAALLLLLLL these eggs and not have one child to show for it?  Chew on that and get back to me. 🙂