I’m back…it was a really long walk.

Okay, so I left off on the transfer after OHSS. Went back for the beta on Valentine’s day and it was negative, which was actually a good thing.

I had 49 eggs retrieved, 36 of which fertilized and are embryos…we transferred 3, so I have 33 frosty babies.  I proceed to do frozen transfers in February (4), March (5), April (6), May (6), June (6) and July (4) and we lost two in the thaw process. Not one pregnancy, not even a chemical.

So I go for a second, third and fourth opinion. All the RE’s seem to agree with my RE’s protocol. They all think it’s unusual for me to have gotten 36 embies and not one pregnancy – but I’m starting to get used to this by now. One RE suggests that I have a D&C and Hysteroscopy to check out my uterus and clear the scar tissue off my cervix. I go back to my RE with the idea and he decides it’s not a terrible idea, but doesn’t think he’s going to find anything.  We do the D&C in August, find nothing and in September start another IVF cycle.

Thankfully, this time there is no hyper stimulation and there are 55 eggs retrieved. 36 of which fertilize and become embryo’s. We transfer six and still no pregnancy. So, we set up for another frozen cycle. I have my transfer of six embryos on November 6 and on November 21, I find out I am PG with a beta of 735! This is amazing news…I am thrilled to death. The best Christmas EVER!!!

I proceed to have an amazingly easy and wonderful pregnancy. I feel great. A little nauseau here and there but nothing to serious. I do have a couple of bleeding incidents but am told to stay on pelvic bedrest. In early February, I have a serious bleeding incident. Lot’s of bright red blood and heavy. Rush to the Dr. and he finds nothing. He sends me to a peri-natalogist and they can’t find anything on the sonogram or anything. All looks completely normal and it’s chalked up to a broken blood vessel. I have my Level II on March 7th and we find out it’s a boy. We decide to name him Rogan Daniel and are thrilled.

On March 15th I am at a St. Patty’s party with my husband and some friends. I go to the bathroom and feel strange pressure. I call my Drs. emergency number and am told to go to Labor and Delivery. DH and I rush off to the hospital and they take me in right away. I am immediately hooked up to a sonogram machine and everything looks great. Rogan is moving around, heartbeat is fine, plenty of amniotic fluid. Then they do an internal – my bag of water has broken through my cervix and is pretty compromised. I am immediately put on an 45 degree angle upside down, catheterized and told I will have to remain like this until I give birth. Which is hopefully in about 8 weeks minimum. My Dr. arrives at the hospital and tells us, after an examination, that he doesn’t think I’m going to make it through the night. He expects me to go into labor within the next few hours. But I don’t….Rogan and I hang in there…and in there…and in there. Everything is going fine. My Dr. is amazed (and of course tells me how unusual this all is) and we start to talk about steroids and possibilities. Then, exactly one week after my admission to the hospital, the unthinkable happens…..my water breaks. Now, it’s bad. We are worried about infection, early labor, etc. , etc. Within four hours of my water breaking, my temperature starts to spike…I have an infection and labor must be induced. At 9:30 p.m. on March 22, 2008 I gave birth to Rogan. He took a breath and his heart beat for a few moments and then he passed. We were devastated and didn’t think we could go on.

Well, time heals most wounds and we started to get better and decided to try again. I still had 20 embryos left so why not. I set up with my RE for a frozen cycle and we begin. I have six embryo’s transferred in June and on the weekend of July 4th, I decide to POAS and get a BFP!!! It’s a friggin miracle!!! I’m pregnant already…I go in for my beta on July 7th and am ecstatic….until the RE calls to tell me my beta is 49. Positive, but I know that it’s not a good sign. I took a HPT three days ago and got a positive – beta should be more than 49 by now. I go back a week later for a follow-up beta. Comes back at 69. So, I go back again at the end of the week – 79. Obviously, we are dealing with a chemical. So, three days later and another beta of 64 and I’m told to go off all my meds and come back when I get my period for another beta – which is 54. Okay, come back in three days for another beta – 27. Do you think this is unusual….are you starting to see a pattern? Go back in three days for another beta and we finally, finally, finally get a negative.

On to transfer number eleven. Obviously, by this time I am on a first name basis with nurses, doctors, PA’s, you name it. I can practically call in the meds myself. We do the transfer and against my better judgement, I POAS again and get a faint positive the day before beta. Why I do this to myself is beyond me, but what the hey? Anyway…go in for beta the next day and it’s 6.7 – – – are you friggin kidding me?! Not a negative, so stay on the meds.

Thankfully, I go back on Monday (only three days of waiting) to find that it’s negative now.

Which brings us to this week….my twelfth transfer coming up. And my last FET with my frosties. I can’t begin to say how much I have invested in this transfer. How badly I want this one to work. How frightened I am to have to think about doing another IVF cycle. And how worried I, my husband and my Dr. are about OHSS.

So, I decided to start this blog to help alleviate some of the stress. And maybe help me get through this transfer. And hopefully, there will be great news at the end of this. We shall see…I shall keep updating although I’m sure no-one is reading except me.