It's unusual…

..what started out as an IVF journey and ended up being about life

Money Changes Everything March 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — gertyrae @ 8:14 am
Tags: , , ,

and how I wish we had some. This is just a total vent. I don’t understand how two hard-working people can struggle like we do. I could understand if we lived “large” but we certainly don’t. We eat home every day, don’t go on trips anywhere, don’t buy expensive items – nothing like that. My husband has a few fantasy leagues that he does and that’s about it. I go to dinner with my friends for a bookclub every month or so…those are our big “expenses”. And yet, every month I’m trying to figure how to pay the mortgage and put milk in the fridge. Wishing I could give my son the small things that his parents had.

We were watching a DVD the other night that my in-laws had made up of some old 8MM movies and I was sort of astounded by the fact that they were able to afford, on one income – a summer cottage in CT, boat, 2 cars, a home in Sayville, pre-school for their FOUR children…etc, etc. One income – and my father-in-law was a fireman so we aren’t talking lawyer salary, here. Their mortgages were like $100/month. Could you imagine?! Here we are trying to struggle and pay $2500/month for our house which will never have the value increase that was seen in the past. There is no way we are selling this bad boy for even $500,000 so what happens then?! When we are ready to sell, we’ll be happy if we get back what we paid and we actually won’t get that if you figure in all the interest we’ve laid out.

And then there are all the “haves” (cuz I figure we are pretty close to “have not”). How in the world do they do it?! What banks are they robbing? I just don’t get how people can afford to do what they do. It’s so friggin expensive just to live daily life – how do you go out and buy a $500 purse?

I don’t want $500 purses. I would just love to say that I want to take my kid to Hershey Park and I can. Or Disney -hahahahaha. I would love to be able to pay my mortgage without wondering how I’m going to cover the rest of my expenses that week, put oil in the tank without worrying about how we’ll get to work, have a car that I can rely on as opposed to wondering what the next thing to go on my Santa Fe with 250,000 miles….

It’s just such a sad state of affairs that most people have to live like we do and that the middle class pretty much no longer exists. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had some kind of balance back in the world?


it’s been forever March 21, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — gertyrae @ 5:59 pm

and it always seems to go this way.  I promise myself I won’t let a boatload of time go by before I come back and then I do. Oh well, at least there will be record of events even if it’s not perfect.

All kinds of fun things going on here. My miracle “baby” is riding a bike, he tells jokes (timing is a bit off but what the hey), he’s overall turning into a little boy.  I don’t think anything can quite melt the heart like the first time you hear your child say “I love you Mommy” or “You are the best Mommy”.  Like every other mom, I think my boy is going to be a real heartbreaker when he grows up. I could go on forever about his little sayings and doings but I’ll make a small list just to keep for my own remembrance – – –

He calls oatmeal: “eatmeal”

He doesn’t say delicious, he says “halicious”

He loves to tell the interrupting cow knock knock joke, but his timing is horrible

He does the craziest things with his tongue, I call him “little gene”

His favorite songs are Hush Little Baby and Twinkle Little Star and we have to sing them over and over

His favorite “from memory” story is Three Little Pigs and he has to do the “not by the hair of my chinny chin chin part

His favorite books are the Laura Numeroff  “If you give a…” series and it’s so bad that I didn’t even have to look up her name, I know it by heart.

He also loves Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton – I think he relates to the Pookie.

When he goes to sleep at night, he wants me to hold him…I have to have an arm on him until he goes out.

He will randomly come up to us and give us hugs/kisses – I cannot get over how loving he is.

He’s just as loving with the animals – my heart melts every time he hugs one of the dogs and he does it at least once a day.

His imagination is out of control…he “finds” random baby animals and we have to find their mommies for them, he likes to make cakes and cookies in the shower, he loves to play baseball in the house with nothing and he likes to be a conductor or a fireman. I’m amazed by the stuff he comes up with out of nowhere.


I am thinking it may be time to cut his hair…we had a few “adorable girl” comments in Florida and hubby wasn’t too happy about it. At the same time, he is so cute with his hair that I hate the idea of cutting it. May do something longish just to keep it from being the strict boy haircut.

We are also still having issues with his asthma. Not horrible this winter since it’s been so warm, but half the reason I have time to do this is that he’s sleeping for over 3 hours now today. He was so sick yesterday and had such a hard time with breathing that he just broke my heart. I can’t stand to see it and I have to be strong for him but it’s so hard. He’s so uncomfortable and I know how bad it feels. I know the backaches and the scariness of not feeling like you can take a breath. He’s been so good with his nebulizer the last two days because he’s truly aware that it makes him feel better. Hopefully today will be the worst day and we will be moving forward to more fun days in the park and an upcoming season of healthy days.

So, that’s all for now folks – I’ll be back when I get back